About Me

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I am a knitter and crocheter and love to design when I get a chance. I am known as the crazy cat lady with 3 dogs. I am a mother to 3 of my own and step-mother to several. I am also a grandmother.

Anything Knitted and Crocheted

Welcome to my blog. I hope to blog about my knitting and crocheting as well as everyday life. The patterns that I post are original and as such there is copyright on them. When they are based on another pattern there is a link to the pattern.

My husband and I adopted a beautiful dog named Leo. He is a dachshund and absolutely adorable! we adopted him on June 23, 2010 and he has become the love of our lives.

I love to share patterns that I find along the way or to talk about some of the neatest designers that are out there today, so I love to post links to the designs or the designers.

So grab a cup a and sit and enjoy the blog.


Cora

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Some funny true moments in court....

This was sent to me by a friend it is hilarious!

Cora


These exchanges are from a book called 'Disorder in the American Courts'. They were recorded verbatim and published by Court Reporters that had the torment of staying calm and remaining professional while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
WITNESS: How would I know?


ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty -- much like your IQ.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you kiddin' me?

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town, I'm going with 'a male'.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m..
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.


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Thank you

Cora Shaw (formerly Levesque)